OT: Do you think nursery/pre-school is necessary?

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Emilie		#21	[url]	[-]
Posts: 304 11/04/09 19:07:06	I don't think it is necessary to spend that much money on preschool, but I do think some sort of pre-k is important, mostly for the socialization piece that is oh-so-important in kinder and beyond. I'm a teacher and I do think that kinder and most younger grades are so much more academic than they used to be AND need to be, but I do think it is crucial for children to have an idea of what school is like before starting in kinder.
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melissawow		#22	[url]	[-]
Posts: 218 11/04/09 19:35:56	I don't think it's necessary, but I think it's a very good thing. Ursula thrived in preschool - she loved going and the time apart was good for both of us. Preschools here are all private, but most are affiliated with churches and aren't very expensive (just because they are at churches doesn't mean they are particularly religious - it's just the way it is around here). I paid $200-280 a month for 3-5 days (the 5 days being a transitional kindergarten). If it was costing me thousands a month - it just wouldn't have been feasible for us. But I also think if it was pricier, it would be less commonplace and we'd have more friends to do non-preschool things with. Here it is the thing to do, everyone does it and you're not going to be able to find someone to play with your 3-4 year old on weekday mornings - they're all at preschool. I didn't go to preschool and was totally fine. However, kindergarten was much different back then. I went from 8:30-noon (same # of hours as preschool). It was very play oriented - I can't remember what exactly we did, but I definitely remember when we BEGAN phonics in first grade. Contrast that with now. Ursula is in kindergarten; her school day is over 6 hours long. Her homework this week includes picking three objects that start with "H" and writing 3 sentences about each object. Her reading group is reading a chaper book. Admittedly, some of her work is level based and not every child has the exact same assignments - but it's still VERY different than my K experience (and honestly it seems more intense that what I did in first grade). Right now, all the kids have 15-20 site words that they are expected to read and spell correctly. They all write sentences. Being able to write a paragraph by the end of the year is a kindergarten expectation. I don't say any of that to be scare you, I'm mostly remarking on surprised I am by all of this. I can't believe HOW different it is! All that said - I still don't think preschool is necessary, but I do think helpful. I know whatever you decide, you'll be giving him loads of great experiences, he'll spend time playing with friends and are you're reading to him -those are the most important things.
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RedWeatherTigerDP		#23	[url]	[-]
Posts: 360 11/04/09 19:53:15	16-28K per year? I ask this with all due respect and love: are ya crazy?
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Lolakat.beautybuzz		#24	[url]	[-]
Posts: 44 11/04/09 20:14:38	RedWeatherTigerDP wrote: 16-28K per year? I ask this with all due respect and love: are ya crazy? LOL! Same reaction when I told my parents. We live in Manhattan/DC. All preschools are private with the exception of Headstart which we don't qualify. So if we want to send him to preschool that's what we'll have to pay. My g/f who changed her religion to send her kids to the church run nursery school says their tuition is more than her tuition was at Harvard. But then again, that nursery school is harder to get into than Harvard is now. My husband wants to send our child to preschool for the reason some of you have stated - more socialized, and kindergarten is different than when we were children, etc. I would much rather keep him home with me until kindergarten, age 5. I don't know. I was sent to 1st grade when I was three years old and not emotionally ready so I know I'm biased. Keep your opinions coming, ladies. Last Edited By: Lolakat 11/04/09 20:38:30. Edited 1 time.
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CallMeJo		#25	[url]	[-]
Posts: 589 11/05/09 02:14:48	Lolakat, I hear everything you're saying, but for most kids in my world, it's so much easier for the child to have had some structured time away from mom before kindergarten. Age 3 is way too young for K, but maybe you could find a Mother's Day Out at church for 2-3 mornings per week. Just a suggestion. Whatever you do I know you'll make the best decision you can for your child because your love for him is apparent, and he's a lucky boy.
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makemepretty		#26	[url]	[-]
Posts: 107 11/05/09 03:49:48	Nope, not necessary. I'm a SAHM and neither of my boys went to preschool(or daycare, which sometimes even seems like a preschool now). I taught them both all the same things they would have learned in preschool. They learned to read before kids in their kindergarten class. What it takes is time. If you have time they don't need preschool. What they learn in preschool is just the basics and we all know those. It's not like trying to teach a high school student calculus :0)
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maureenislost		#27	[url]	[-]
Posts: 397 11/05/09 04:41:58	I don't ever think it's "necessary" but in alot of cases it can certainly be beneficial. My son is an only child. By his 3rd birthday I felt he was ready to attend pre-school a few days a week. He attended twice a week for 4 hrs a day. It included nap time, snack time, reading circle, free play, and very little curriculum. Yes, he learned his ABCs, colors and numbers, but he could have easily learned that at home (and pretty much did). The most important thing he learned was what a classroom environment involved - things like waiting your turn and sharing with other children. It also helped him be more prepared for kindergarten. It was a big help for my son but I don't think it would have meant the end of the world if he hadn't attended. There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle And dark desperate hours that nobody sees My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain My head in my hands down on my knees
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MeganGMcD		#28	[url]	[-]
Posts: 365 11/05/09 05:21:41	We were lucky as Houston had a lot of really great affordable options for 2-3 days of " play school." I do not think a structured environment helps children that little thrive. I think it stresses them out and then burns them out. My mother was a 1st grade teacher for a long time, she advocates a later kindergarten start over a competitive, structured pre-school. I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?- Stephen Colbert
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gardenia777		#29	[url]	[-]
Posts: 129 11/05/09 05:52:08	It depends on the child. My 2 yr. old just started at a church "Mom's Day Out' program and she loves it--cried when I picked her up b/c she wanted to stay (I came after lunch @ noon, but didn't let her stay for nap time). The cost is $18 a day 9-1:45. It's a great program, but more 'old school'! It's meant for socialization- and for me to have a few hrs. out. My older kids liked preschool, but also loved to stay home with me, play, learn and read, etc. My older kids also went to a very progressive program where education was definitely more emphasized. They are both now in middle school. Yes, they have good grades. Did the program make them brain-y-acs though, no! In fact, many of the kids that did the same program have struggled and continue to. Did they read before kindergarten like promised, no! They both started reading after X-mas in Kindergarten. But, my 13 yr. old (in 7th) is now testing at an 11th grade level! Keep in mind, I value education, but I'm not one of those parents that hover, demand and freak about every little thing in fear of my kids not being brilliant. I guess what I'm saying is, I worked a lot with my kids at home and tried to provide a great learning environment there and at their schools/preschools. But I also made it fun and low pressure. You know your child. If you want to send her/him, that's great, but you can also spend so much one on one time teaching them at home too. Don't forget, art, dance and gymnastics classes can also be an excellent way to get socialization as well. They are only little for such a short time.... 30 something, MAC NW20, sensitive/combination skin with rosacea, very acne prone. Last Edited By: gardenia777 11/05/09 06:07:53. Edited 4 times.
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melissawow		#30	[url]	[-]
Posts: 218 11/05/09 09:16:28	I wanted to clarify something I said in my post - while I said "preschool", it was indeed very play based. In this part of the country, Mom's Morning Out and preschool are basically the same - MMO is kids 1-2ish, preschool is 3-4. Same basic philosophies, but 3-4yos (esp 4) have a letter of the week, practice writing letters, etc - all in a low pressure way. So, all of the stuff I said about K - my main thing is making sure kids know their letters/sounds, have been read to and are used to being in a group and following directions. Speaking Spanish and having computer skills (what the few very academic preschools around here do) are NOT necessary. Are there any co-op preschool by you? That might be an option - just a way to meet different people, be part of a group and work with other adults.
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Lolakat.beautybuzz		#31	[url]	[-]
Posts: 44 11/05/09 19:38:32	You ladies are sooo great. Thank you so much for sharing your opinions and experiences. It's helped me sort out the pros and cons in our case. My 27 month old has no problems separating from me so I'm getting a lot of pressure from family including my husband to send him to preschool next year when he's three. He already knows the alphabet upper and lower case, numbers to 20, colors, shapes, etc. so I don't expect preschool to be educational. Also, I don't believe in formal structured schooling for kids this young anyway. Right now he attends a Waldorf program for 18 - 29 month olds, a music class and a french class. I stay with him for all these and they last 1 - 1 1/2 hr and meet once a wk. Also, he models and temperamentally, he is a happy, very easy going extrovert who wants to 'help' and do what's wanted of him. My husband thinks he'll really enjoy preschool. The only reasons I would be sending Adam to preschool would be for the socialization, he likes preschool and b/c it's probably easier to get into the school's kindergarten if he attends as a preschooler. While I can understand the need to be socialized, learning to share, taking turns, etc. before kindergarten, I think most kids including my son would catch on pretty quick even without preschool. I agree with my husband, Adam probably would enjoy preschool. I'm thinking 2x a wk, either in the mornings or afternoons next fall. I better get hopping... ugh. Melissawow, the co-op preschools in NYC as far as I can tell are just as expensive with the same arduous admissions procedures as the regular preschools. Awful, I know.
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melissawow		#32	[url]	[-]
Posts: 218 11/06/09 05:09:56	Ugh - well I wouldn't want to do a co-op if it cost the same. Because the best part about preschool is dropping your kid off an being ALONE! Seriously though, it sounds like he is in a great situation and will absolutely be ready!
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Colleen03		#33	[url]	[-]
Posts: 181 11/06/09 09:13:10	I agree with Melissa that Kindergarten is VERY different these days. I think that a little bit of alone time, away from your child is beneficial for everyone. I sent my daughter to pre school and pre-k and she loved the social interaction. I think you also need to look at where you will be sending your son to Kindergarten. If he's going to be attending a school where the majority attended pre-K, then you'll probably want to send him. The Kindergarten admissions usually look at where your child previously attended and that has a bearing on acceptance. I live in Hawaii and the pre-k tuition cost just as much as the tuition for older children. It's just part of where we live. I don't like it, but I have to accept it. It's a crazy world.
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AnnieW625		#34	[url]	[-]
Posts: 670 11/06/09 10:11:33	My daughter has been in daycare (in home center run by a former teacher) since she was 4/1/2 mos. old. and she just started preschool in the fall. Elisa loves preschool and goes two mornings a week for three hours. She has also stayed for lunch which she loves too. My DCP takes her and drops her off since we both work full time. We pay $177 a month for the program that is subsidized by a local church, and in addition we pay $200 a week for the daycare. Our expenses for daycare is just under $12,000 a year. It's not that unreasonable because both DH and I are paid well for what we do. Now if I didn't make as much as I did then I would've considered quitting my job when I had DD. A friend of mine in Chicago is going through a similar issue with the cost of half day programs, plus the cost of retaining her nanny for her second son. It's little things like this that make me think I am soo happy I don't live in a big city. Costs aside I love the socialization aspect that my DD has had through both daycare and her preschool. I don't regret sending her to either. Annie, 32, buzzing from Lakewood, CA Simply irresistible shes so fine, theres no tellin where the money went--Robert Palmer We busted out of class had to get away from those fools, we learned more from a three-minute record than we ever learned in school--Bruce Springsteen
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Kathy in Vancouver		#35	[url]	[-]
Posts: 105 11/06/09 15:29:51	I'm curious...how many of you went to pre-school/nursery school and at what age? It didn't exist when I was a kid (at least in my area) and everybody started school with kindergarten at age 5. I'm wondering what has changed that we now have 2 and 3 year olds going to pre-school? Is it because kindergarten is more difficult than it used to be? Is it because more families have both parents working? What happens to children of lower income families if their parents cannot afford pre-school? Will they always be behind? I just finished reading a book called "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell and it's making my think about these kinds of things. It is a very interesting read. PPP with fairly neutral coloring. Hazel eyes and light brown hair with gold and red highlights. Sensitive skin with oily T-zone. Prone to breakouts.
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AnnieW625		#36	[url]	[-]
Posts: 670 11/06/09 15:46:55	I went to one year of pre school when I was 4 yrs. old. It was play based and at a local Episcopal church. I would've gone at 3, but my mom didn't know about the waiting list. Kindergarten at least my neck of the woods is more like what first grade was 26 years ago. Like MelissaWow said kids in kindy are working on specific things that match letters and phonics. Like I said before I like preschool for socialization issues, to get DD ready for school, and for her to be with 10 other kids her age for 2 days a week this year, and 3 days a week next year. I would not want my child in a full education based preschool five days a week where there wasn't at least some play. I think Montessori is a good plan for 5 day a week preschool (at least the ones I worked at, as did my mom) and while it's education based, but education is learned by playing and I really like that concept. Annie, 32, buzzing from Lakewood, CA Simply irresistible shes so fine, theres no tellin where the money went--Robert Palmer We busted out of class had to get away from those fools, we learned more from a three-minute record than we ever learned in school--Bruce Springsteen
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CallMeJo		#37	[url]	[-]
Posts: 589 11/06/09 15:59:00	Well, I'm 53 years old and I went to kindergarten at age 5. I have a sibling so I had a playmate at home. My son is an only child, I worked full-time. He went to daycare starting at 10 weeks old. At 3 or so, we chose a preschool program because we thought he needed fun-learning experiences and structure to his day. At four, he went to Pre-K at the school where he would attend kindergarten. That was because I wanted him to have time to feel "at home" at the school before it really counted. I cannot remember the number of hours per day after all these years. He's always done well in school, and is finishing a master degree on full scholarship right now. Did any of the preschool help; who knows? My nephew (another only child) stayed at home with his mother until kindergarten. When he started, he cried every day and she had to pull the car over every morning for him to throw up. This went on forever it seems. She had him repeat kindergarten at another school just because she thought it best. He is in a doctoral program now and doing very, very well. No two kids are the same, and the main thing is that when your kid is in school you'd better be involved and in the know. You'd better watch that homework, make sure you see every test grade, make your child realize you are his biggest advocate and cheerleader, but you'll be the first to flog him if he screws up at school. Even with all that, it's all a gamble, so do the best you can and hope for the best. Since I worked full-time (by necessity), he would have been at daycare anyway, so it made sense to send him to an education program as early as possible. It was play/fun learning; no stress.
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The BrowneyedGirl		#38	[url]	[-]
Posts: 524 11/06/09 18:22:57	melissawow wrote: Here it is the thing to do, everyone does it and you're not going to be able to find someone to play with your 3-4 year old on weekday mornings - they're all at preschool. Knowing what I know of Manhattan-ites (I have family and friends there), this is even more true in your 'hood. I think it is great that we have a variety of experiences shared here regarding preschool/daycare/pre-K programs. What is important (IMO) to remember is (as others have pointed out): * Things are different now. No way of getting around that. I have vivid memories of kindergarten and nil of pre-K, and my 1st grader (albeit at a private school) is getting a curriculum I don't remember even "touching" until 3rd grade. * What is that $$$ paying for? Personally, we had a fixed set of requirements surrounding the environment in which we chose to put our sons. The requirements for DS#1 were different than for DS#2. You can't assume that the same school or curriculum works for kids even in the same family. Furthermore, for those who scoff at the cost, conisder what experiences these schools offer vs. a lesser-$ program. Who can these administrators afford to hire? For both kids, I wanted to know that both teachers (usually there were 3 adults per group of kids in an age group) were degreed, certified, and with at least x years of experience. Talk to any administrator or preschool owner, and they'll tell you that you cannot price the tuition @ $___ and expect to hire a teacher w/ certain credentials. * What do you want to get out of this experience? Lolakat, it seems (just from reading this and from what I know/remember of you) that a co-op might be worth your effort of research. FWIW, DS#2 attends one now (DS#1 did not, and I won't bore you all w/ why publicly but will be happy to share w/ anyone who genuinely wants to know via PM). Co-ops are not easy for working parents. But I've seen SAHPs thrive in these environments, especially when introducing older (meaning 3 or 4-year olds) into an outside the home environment for the first time. The kids get the benefits of the program offerings and the parents get to be involved in that you're "forced" to be part of this community of parents, teachers, children. * I will say that pre-K (not necessarily equating that w/ pre-school) is a necessary evil these days, if you have a school in mind for kindergarten or lower elementary school. For those who cannot afford the private option, many public ISDs have pre-K programs. There are income requirements, but they do exist. Again, I wish you the best in your decision. Some good points were made, and for that I am grateful.
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OT: Do you think nursery/pre-school is necessary?

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