STRESS I really fear for my professional future sometimes. I thought I could handle stress, I've handled stress before very well. I am literally forgetting
things, throwing up before work, and just breaking down. I am in sales and things are very bad right now. People are not buying so our management is reacting
by putting higher goals on us to sell higher priced items. Rules are changing so quickly and if you make a mistake you are publicly berated. I understand that
every job is stressful, and I feel that if I can't handle this I will be useless. I also know that these jobs have high turnover rates in other areas of
the country. How do I handle the anxiety that every day is going to be the most difficult day I have ever had? Am I destined to fail at everything I do? Oh and
I get paid a ridiculously small salary on top of all of this. HELP Megan
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OT: How do you deal with a job that is constant
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 MeganGMcD |
OT: How do you deal with a job that is constant |
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Posts: 340 06/30/09 09:19:14 |
I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?- Stephen Colbert
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Dommy.beautybuzz |
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Posts: 460 06/30/09 09:39:44 |
Oh boy!! *HUGS!!!*
Last week we had an 'incident' that totally relates to what you are talking about... I promise I'll PM you later 'off hours'. But for now, just be sure to go up for some air every now and then... --Dommy! |
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yawadah |
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Posts: 312 06/30/09 10:32:23 |
Hugs to you!! Nothing is more demoralizing than going to bed and knowing you have to wake up and go 'back' to that place. I had a brief stint of that
towards the end of the year and it was brutal. You feel like you can't escape.
Not a lot of good advice except to surround yourself with friends who love and support you and hopefully have a good sense of humor. On a dark and morbid side, at some point getting fired starts looking like fun I suppose. Of all the people in the world, you are due for something amazing. After all this rotten luck, you'll probably win the biggest lottery ever, turn Adam Lambert straight (then have to deal with your husband. Ok hun, I love you but...how ya feel about adding someone else?), discover a rare metabolic but totally safe drug that creates the perfect healthy body then your only problem will be to keep it for yourself or market it and be a trizillionaire. More hugs and sincerely wishing you the luck and break you are due! Tracey |
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lizette23 |
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Posts: 636 06/30/09 10:37:22 |
I just did. I told myself everyday this helps me afford the things I need - food, a house, clothes, a car. something better will come along. and finally when
it was too bad I decided, if I lose my house, I'll survive and I quit. my old job the boss would humiliate people all the time, it was cut throat everyone
was always trying to get everyone else fired etc...part of the reason I quit was I felt they were doing things to make me look like the bad guy and could
potentially lead to me losing my law license and no job is worth making you unemployable.
and "never confuse having a career with having a life" focus, outside of work, on the things that ARE your life...your family, friends, goals and dreams etc. call some temp agencies...apply for other jobs. just because its sort of in your field doesn't mean you need to do it.
~ Lizette
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Donna Panel |
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Posts: 1034 06/30/09 11:15:27 |
When you wake up in the morning and your first thought is I hate my life, it's time to walk away. It doesn't mean you're a failure, it means
you're smart enough to know that your mental health isn't worth going through this. Sales is a tough field in the best of times, but even the
world's best salesperson can't sell anything to people who have no money to buy. If you met my husband you'd think he'd be a great salesman.
People told him that for years and he tried it. Several times. It didn't turn out so great even though he put in the effort and the hours. What he
doesn't have is the killer instinct that's needed for highly competitive sales in some areas. He kept thinking he was failing somehow, but in reality
he was trying to do something that just wasn't in his makeup. So if you decide that sales isn't for you, especially right now, that's not failing,
it's knowing yourself well enough to know that this is just not working out for you. And no one needs to be humiliated at work, no matter what.
I agree with what Lizette said. "Never confuse having a career with having a life." Those are good words to live by. Also this job is so loosely in the field you want to be in, it's not really going to count towards doing anything in your field. And again, your mental health isn't worth this crap. Call some temp agencies and get out of there while you're still sane. Apply for some other jobs. I'm sending you lots and lots of good vibes for sanity, serenity and a better job very, very soon.
Fair w/yellow undertones, MAC C2, skin normal in winter, oily in summer, medium red hair, green hazel eyes.
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kikiaz |
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Posts: 382 06/30/09 11:25:28 |
Megan I feel for you!! I can completely relate and I know what you're saying in regards to long term concerns over your mental stability. It's no
joke, stress is a killer. I don't know if you've seen "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock, but there's a scene where the guy calls his
family to cancel a trip and Sandra (his boss) is standing there and says "Is that your family? Did they tell you to quit?" and he replies -
"Only EVERY SINGLE DAY". That's me.
 My friends and family hate my job and hate what it does to me.
All that said, you still need to make a living. Here's what I've done/am doing: - Make a "worst case scenario" budget. My DH and I use a budget for our monthly expenses, and I crunched all the numbers to see what we absolutely couldn't live without, and how much (take home) we need to cover those things. Once I had a figure in mind, I felt comfortable knowing that unemployment would cover it, if I lost my job, and if I quit - how much of a pay cut I could afford to take. That helped my frame of mind tremendously. - Start making notes for your sucessor. I wouldn't be able to quit without horrifying guilt if I left them with no notes on how to do things. 2 weeks is NOT enough training time for someone to replace me, and I know it. So I have started making detailed instructions for all the little tasks I do every day, as they come up. In my "spare" time at work, I am typing them and getting a folder together. I don't know if this applies to you because it sounds like you have others at your place of work that could train someone in your absence, but I don't. - Document. If you're in a hostile work environment, start documenting things. Send yourself emails detailing incidents so there is a date and time stamp that can prove it happened (and not made up after the fact). Verbal abuse, physical abuse, anything that seems important (even if it's minor) should be documented, so if they do fire you and try to dispute your unemployment claim - you have backup. Also keep anything that shows you're doing a GOOD job- if your entire employee file is full of praise but they try to say they fired you for performance issues, you'll have the proof you need for the unemployment office. Keep copies of your reviews, awards or anything that you can that would be in your employee file. The others are SO right (Lizette you always inspire me with your advice!) - don't let your career define your life. Apply for something else, decide what you are, and are not, willing to do (I personally wouldn't want to work at McDonalds, but bagging groceries would be fine!  ) and just remember that you are TOUGH. You have hung in there this long. You
can do anything you set your mind to. Get your resume/cv updated and make sure you have a nice interview outfit ready to go at the drop of a hat. Be
proactive - it's the only thing that makes me feel better. Good luck!
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Nevertoomuchmakeup |
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Posts: 236 06/30/09 11:51:19 |
Great advice above, and trust me, I know stress. Its horrible, truly the worst.
Do know this: there ARE jobs out there. My company is laying off people right and left (publishing co. - ad dollars way down), but in the midst of the layoffs, a few people have been leaving on their own accord. Last year, a coworker was unfairly terminated (long story) and less than a month later, she got a higher paying TEMP JOB that turned into a permanent job, a raise, and lot of success so far. That's how I comfort myself during trying times -- there ARE jobs out there, and there is a fabulous one out there for you. Get your resume out, call up temp agencies -- start pounding those pavements like there's no tomorrow! |
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NewHbgrrl |
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Posts: 481 06/30/09 12:15:31 |
ITA with NTMM.
There ARE jobs out there. I think there are many that are word of mouth, so get the word out there that you are looking and available. I also think temping is a wonderful way to test drive a job. I know that so many times they do turn into permanent positions. Lots of ((hugs)) and hang in there! Nothing is worth the stress and anguish you're going through. --Cindy |
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cosmeticjunkie |
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Posts: 656 06/30/09 12:27:27 |
What I would suggest is probably something you can't do: Walk Away from THIS job.
When you are physically ill, it's a sign that this is killing you; slowly but surely. Sadly, sales is like that. The attitude of "when they starve, they'll SELL their souls" is the norm and resorting to these type of tactics is common. Everyone has given you much better advice than I; so I'll just say good luck and send you lots of hugs. CJ
Casper white w/pink undertones, dark brown hair and brown/greenish eyes.
"Always remember that true beauty comes from within- from within bottles, jars, compacts and tubes." |
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MeganGMcD |
#9 | |||
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Posts: 340 06/30/09 13:29:32 |
I am a decent sales person. I have consistently hit one of my goals every month since January. I can think of spin at 4am. I am usually extremely amazing under
pressure. My internship professor used to tell me that I was like PATTON when the "you know what" hit the fan. This is just...maybe it isn't just
me. I hate to point fingers, in fact I will blame myself before I blame anyone else ( thus the nervous breakdown) and that is why I feel like such a failure.
Yawadah, if I turned Adam Lambert straight I think my husband would forgive me...just once...lol. Thanks guys
I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?- Stephen Colbert
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Nevertoomuchmakeup |
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Posts: 236 06/30/09 13:35:44 |
You hit the nail on the button - it really ISN'T just you. That is a HUGE step, so give yourself a pat on the back. ((HUGS))
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Shine.beautybuzz |
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Posts: 19 06/30/09 16:19:37 |
I can so relate to your experience in terms of the anxiety and stress you are facing at work. I was beginning to have nightmares about work. Luckily, I was
working two part-time jobs so I was able to leave the one job that was causing me emotional distress. The problem at that one job was that I was being berated
so my heart goes out to you. I was so happy to read that you have a husband because I am sure he is a great support system for you. My boyfriend lives in
another state and just being able to talk to him on the phone about my problems at work has been so helpful. At least your husband is there when you need a big
hug
. The sales field is very diverse and there are a lot of different companies that need great sales personnel so don't think that you couldn't
move on if you needed to. (((HUGS)))
*Shine* *Living in NJ* *Buzzing since 1999*
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RebeccaB20 |
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Posts: 824 06/30/09 17:09:06 |
Megan, babe, I hope your resume is ready to go. Better yet, start papering the state of Pennsylvania with it. Hand it out on street corners, insert it into
bills when you mail them, accidentally leave them in office buildings, whatever. I think your employer is in trouble because nobody is buying and they will
start laying off people soon. I get the sneaking suspicion that this might be all over for you a lot sooner than you would really like it to be. JMHO.
"...there is nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action." Tommy Smothers |
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The BrowneyedGirl |
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Posts: 493 06/30/09 17:10:48 |
I read/hear stories like this and get frustrated. My fellow MBA-ers (or anyone w/ a background in Organizational Behavior or HR Generalists) will back me up
here...classic example of poor motivation. I'm sorry you're suffering at the hands of poor management (yes, you're allowed to blame them, because
in times like these, they'd know that these tactics don't work and only decrease employee morale/productivity).
FWIW, I'll just add this. When we research a firm or startup, we look very closely at the sales organization. We can easily weed out those w/ mediocre management, and from what you've told us, you're management falls into that category. 
I will **supportive vibe** your way through this.
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gypsyheart |
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Posts: 356 06/30/09 18:45:31 |
I have done the whole throwing up every morning on the way to work thing too. In situations like that you become tough as nails and learn to let crap just roll
right off your back- while you are looking for a different job!
Seriously, you do what you have to do while you have to do it, but life is really short. Please don't let a job with dumbass management suck the life out of you. And you are totally right about it being their issues - if you haven't read the Four Agreements ( a rec from blingers so it happens), then I recommend it highly when you are working in a toxic environment, it really helped me deal with some horribly difficult people.
~fair skin (BE 1 or 1.2), blue eyes, dark ash brown hair~
Last Edited By: gypsyheart 06/30/09 18:49:30.
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Yenzi.beautybuzz |
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Posts: 127 07/01/09 06:01:21 |
The job I have just cut my hours to 10 per week. I work in a diamond jewelry store, sales are WAYYYYYYY down as you can imagine! Same scenario as you are
currently having, rules are changing every day, manager being a butt (but he's in fear of losing his job as well). It seems like all night every night in
my dreams I was at work so I know it was stressing me out, but not to the point of being physically ill. I think it's because I know that ALL I CAN DO IS
THE BEST I CAN DO, and I don't think sales (at least in a recession) is a good fit for me. You're not a failure, as others have said. You just have the
wrong job for you. Don't let management get to you, just let what they say "go through you", don't take it to heart, your health is more
important than anything.
Natural blonde shoulder-blade length hair with highlights.Blue/green eyes, Medium combo skin. 5' 5" tall. Slim athletic build. 48yo
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LuLuOverLOreal |
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Posts: 76 07/01/09 09:14:09 |
I am in a similar situation at work, too. *HUGS* Sending you vibes and good thoughts for a new, better job. Hang in there!
"He who's tired of 'Weird Al' is tired of life."
Teresa: 31 years old; fair skin with rosy/pink tones; naturally light brown and curly hair - straightened and dyed a chocolate cherry color; sensitive/combination skin. |
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